Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tonight I Feel Like So Much Has Been Lifted Off Of My Shoulders

This negativity and depression and sadness feels like it might be leaving. Diane Sawyer's eye liner was distracting, yes, and her drunken mannerisms — but goddamnit I actually feel proud to be an American. PROUD. Something I have not experienced ever. George W. Bush has been president since I was 15 years old. I don't think I ever gave "pride in country" any thought before I was 15. I have had "fear for country," but that is something that does bad things to your mind. And also, I have had "loathing for citizens" of this country. It is very, very exhausting to have to constantly feel disgust in response to the actions of your fellow citizens, and to, at times, loathe their ignorance.

Earlier on local TV, some cynical Republican from Medford said, "Just watch, it's a pendulum effect. In 2 years people will wake up and realize blah blah blah fiscal conservatism blah blah blah." It could be true, Americans are a fickle people by nature. Flip-floppers. But no matter how we feel in 2 years, we have reached a milestone that can never be revoked, and I hope we all can keep moving forward no matter what happens.

But the best comment of the night came from my mother telling me that my Texan (read: racist) grandfather voted for Obama. To me, that's real change.

No matter what happens in the next 4 years, I want to be able to hang on to this feeling of nationalism and general good will toward my fellow Americans. I feel, tonight, like it's maybe not so bad to let these arbitrary borders lend me a title. I love you all, and as I watch the crowd gathering in front of the White House (no doubt thousands of middle fingers raised) I want you all to know that we are getting better. There is a cure.

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