Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hella Dumb Whale

Rosie O'Donnell is hella feminine
That fucking dumb dyke moose.
Where's Nanook of the North when you need 'em.

whats the real scoop on this guy. he seems so sweet and hes hella sexy
It's like comparing a a mino to some sort of super blue whale. u hoes r hella
dumb serious superman he hecca weak. Nobody can beat Goku.

omg i have whale sharks in my dreams.
Vicroria Beckham is fat whale, and here she is
waddling her fat ass whale panties.

"I only have whale sharks in my private ocean. I take rides on them."
LOL, but it is hella cool over there and I am always goofing off so I have
several retarded pictures of me in a big dumb "whale."

She's hella mad at some dude/dudes.
When none of the Jews were looking, he totally blew a whale.
His thumb went inside my soup as he served it to me but its all good.

Fuggy the Whale cakes look dumb.
My Jabberwacky is hella depressed.
I think babydoll dresses are stupid & look dumb/costumey on me
and I only ever drink coffee out of my hella conceptual
goat & whale cups. I am hella scared of cherry trees.

i should start donating my recorded stomach noises to Vallejo.

The whale is your mom and the food is my di-dick!
It would taste like crap, and be hella hard on your teeth enamel.
That is why you should probably just order the waffles.

You dumb fuck if I was working on a
shrimp boat your dick would be in my shrimp cocktail.

My pet peeves are dumb drivers, Religion, whiny
bitchess and cocky whales. They're the stupidest fuck giraffes
in the dumb dumb salad. I have no shame in
saying I’d punch a shark, a whale or a dinosaur over my two cats.

I never bragged about fucking a whale, I was embarassed.

Monday, March 23, 2009

New Things

I watched the first episode of Eastbound and Down while I was at the gym. It was funny. Then I came home and watched the pilot for Breaking Bad. It was really really good. I'm excited to watch more. I am slowly being sucked into television even though I don't get cable. I didn't get cable when I was a kid either -- my parents thought TV would destroy us. Then again, the kind of shit that was on TV then seems like a big fucking joke compared to the stuff the networks are pumping out now. I'm supremely impressed. Then again, the best thing I saw when I was a kid was Sabrina the Teenage Witch on ABC's TGIF.

I am working on a long poem.

I am trying to be positive.

I am listening to Serge Gainsbourg.

I was at the gym today and I started fantasizing about going on a month-long backpacking trip to clean my body out and to clear my head. I thought about how I would come back 10 pounds lighter and I would probably feel better about interacting with human beings -- like I could leave some of my regrets and awkwardness "in the woods."

I picked up Sartre's Existentialism Is a Humanism. I still need to read Being and Nothingness. I almost bought Being and Time, but I kind of felt a little scared so I didn't buy it.

Alex, give me back my copy of Existentialism and Human Emotions. I think you have it.

I spent a few drunken nights ranting about the "cruelty of life" and "futility of everything" but I kind of feel like I exorcised those thoughts. For now, anyway. Maybe it's just because it's so goddamn hard to feel completely fucked when the sun is starting to come out and I can have a beer with friends on a patio.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Help Keep A Rad Lit Journal Free

Free things are never free. They cost someone something. Noƶ Journal is one of these "free" things and needs your $$$.

A blurb from the post:

So the cost of printing the journal has become sort of intense. But I'm still committed to the idea of a free literary magazine distributed at coffeeshops and bookstores across the country, because I think the "literary scene" has an unfortunate economic insularity that makes entrance into this scene difficult for people who don't live in major cities, or people don't understand why that literary journal at B&N is $12 when they could buy a book for $12, or people who haven't dipped into the whirlpool of the internet literary community. I also think that print artifacts allow for a dimension of reader interaction that reading online doesn't allow for, which we can sweepingly call the "shelf-in-your-bathroom effect."

Go here and donate money.