I watched the first episode of Eastbound and Down while I was at the gym. It was funny. Then I came home and watched the pilot for Breaking Bad. It was really really good. I'm excited to watch more. I am slowly being sucked into television even though I don't get cable. I didn't get cable when I was a kid either -- my parents thought TV would destroy us. Then again, the kind of shit that was on TV then seems like a big fucking joke compared to the stuff the networks are pumping out now. I'm supremely impressed. Then again, the best thing I saw when I was a kid was Sabrina the Teenage Witch on ABC's TGIF.
I am working on a long poem.
I am trying to be positive.
I am listening to Serge Gainsbourg.
I was at the gym today and I started fantasizing about going on a month-long backpacking trip to clean my body out and to clear my head. I thought about how I would come back 10 pounds lighter and I would probably feel better about interacting with human beings -- like I could leave some of my regrets and awkwardness "in the woods."
I picked up Sartre's Existentialism Is a Humanism. I still need to read Being and Nothingness. I almost bought Being and Time, but I kind of felt a little scared so I didn't buy it.
Alex, give me back my copy of Existentialism and Human Emotions. I think you have it.
I spent a few drunken nights ranting about the "cruelty of life" and "futility of everything" but I kind of feel like I exorcised those thoughts. For now, anyway. Maybe it's just because it's so goddamn hard to feel completely fucked when the sun is starting to come out and I can have a beer with friends on a patio.